10 Things that make me smile about paranormal TV programs

1) When a certain female investigator says "everybody keep calm" then runs out of the room screaming accompanied by a row of bleeps on the TV.
2) When the pet sceptic waves around an EMF meter like it is a magic wand when it has never actually been proven to detect the presence of spirits.
3) When the investigators ask the spirits to throw something at them - be careful, one day they just might!
4) When psychics get "possessed" by some spirit and do really bad music hall impersonations of characters from days gone by.
5) When we are told to listen out for background taps and noises and the crew say "did you hear that?" and there is spooky background music playing to the film track - like we could hear a damn thing anyway!
6) The way they demand a spirit shows itself by calling it a coward or some other insult - like THAT's gonna work!. If I were the resident spectre i'd think "well, up yours" and do nothing.
7) When investigators say "we don't mean you any harm". They are dead for goodness sake. Something tells me they are already beyond further damage.
8) The way a whole "new-speak" language has been invented around ghost hunting. We now talk of "residuals" and go on "vigils" etc etc.
9) Celebrity guests on ghost hunts. Why would a pop singer or TV celeb add anything of value to a paranormal investigation?
10) The way I "tut" and comment on every one of these paranormal programs but still watch them avidly.